the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize