i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you would pick up someone in the library
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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