if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
