I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
