just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
