Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
