When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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