I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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