Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
