just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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