She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We have started to decorate penises.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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