The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
