That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
