just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sorry my hands just texted you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize