so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
