we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
