Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
