using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize