I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
