so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
