it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
