I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
