her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
