ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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