it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
