What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize