Where are you?
In a non slutty way
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
