I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
