Buhtt sex?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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