We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
