Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
