This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I currently don't understand fingers.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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