you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize