Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
