literally had 100 drinks last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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