Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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