Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
