just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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