Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
