I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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