Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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