The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
