i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
