If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
