it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
