i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
