its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
