At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
