We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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