in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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