How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
