New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
