yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
