My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
handjob tips. give me some.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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