Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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