I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
As shirtless as possible
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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