Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
