all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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