ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
