btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
