mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
