just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
