billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
