i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
