So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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