It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
