that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
